TO BE GRATEFUL TO ME IS DANGEROUS
(Extracted from Osho Times English Edition; January 16, 1993)
.-Ashram from
Beloved Osho,
Oh my beloved, beloved, each time you say I need not
be grateful to You, there is an agony that rips through my heart and it is
almost unbearable. The pain I only feel, but do not understand; it feels like
it is too much to ask my heart not to be grateful to You, for it knows that
without Your love it would not have opened to life. I understand a little, when
You say to be grateful to existence, and also realize I have forgotten
existence many times. You have always been like a window to existence, and all
is possible through You. So please, Osho, do not ask this impossible task from
my heart, for it suffers too much when you say that we need not to be grateful
to you.
I do understand your feeling. But I have been telling you this for two
reasons: One, I should not be standing in any way between you and existence.
Even as a window to existence I give existence a frame which it does not have;
it is frameless and formless. If you are looking through the window, the frame
of the window becomes the frame of the sky, of existence, which is frameless.
Secondly, it is man’s
strange mind- if you feel grateful towards me, somewhere, someday you may take
revenge against me. It may not happen to you particularly: but it has happened
to many who were as grateful as you are, and now they are as revengeful as they
were grateful- in the same proportion.
The mind has a problem: if
you are with me, enjoying my presence, enjoying my silence, it is very natural
to feel grateful; but one never knows about tomorrow.
Our paths may separate, or
you may be able to go on so far with me and then stop. Then you will have to
find some rationalization for why you have stopped, or why you have separated
from me and moved on another path. You are not in a state of consciousness
which can simply say, “It was beautiful to be with him and I am grateful for
that, but like takes strange routes; although I am now on a separate path, my
gratefulness to him remains the same.” That needs great consciousness.
What happens ordinarily is
that the moment you are on a separate path, you start finding fault with me to
justify why you are separate; and instead of being grateful you start being
revengeful. You feel as if you have been cheated for so long, exploited,
deceived. Then the wheel turns completely; where there was love, hate arises.
This is the ordinary human
mind; it can love or it can hate. When it loves it finds all the
rationalizations to love, when it hates it finds all the rationalizations to
hate. And when it hates it forgets completely those moments of love and
gratitude.
To avoid your being
sometime hateful towards me, I go on insisting: don’t be grateful towards me.
If you are not grateful towards me, even if you separate you will not be
revengeful towards me- as if we were two strangers who walked on the way for a
time and then our paths separated.
Right now it will be very
hurtful even to think this. You are asking me not to say it again…But you know
those people also, who had also been in the same state of gratefulness as you
are. But small things, very trivial, and your hate which has been waiting –
while you were showing your love, your hate was hiding behind it, just waiting
for the moment when your love disappears for any reason… then the hate comes
with full vengeance. And just because you have to justify yourself, you even
create lies – not knowingly, not consciously.
You have been Shiva
sitting here for almost seven years, and his gratitude was as deep as it can
be. He would have died to save me. But you are not aware of the whole of your
own mind. He came to the commune in
He has written a book
against me now, full of lies, with no foundation in truth. But he has to
justify why he has left. Still he is blind, still he cannot see that it was
power that was keeping him here and it is power that is now taking revenge.
I have no complaint
against anybody, but I understand your whole mind. You don’t understand your
whole mind. You only understand the part that is on the surface in this moment.
So, it is better to be
fully conscious and let your gratitude be towards existence. Leave me aside –
because I know any moment, any small thing may create a situation where you
have to justify yourself. And to justify yourself you will have to invent lies
against me.
Because you have been so
grateful, the other side of your mind, which knows nothing of gratitude but
only ungratefulness, will take over. You have loved me, now you will hate me
with the same strength.
Knowing the games of the mind, I have always been saying that your
gratitude should be towards existence. I am no more than a stranger you have
met on the way. We talked a little while, just to pass the time. We can depart
in a friendly way; there is no need to justify yourself.
When you are in love, it
hurts to hear me saying to you that you need not be even grateful to me. But,
Patipada, I am going to say it again and again so you don’t forget it, because
I don’t want you to lie someday, to say things against me which you know
perfectly well are wrong.
So, there is no need to
feel any pain. Whatever I say has a meaning in it, far-reaching, that you may
not be able to understand right now. Gratitude is good – but to the trees, to
the moon, to the sun, because you will never be in a position to be against the
trees, against the moon, against the sun. But to be grateful to me is
dangerous.
So I just want no to be in
your way. I want to help you to move on the way – but I don’t want to stand in
your way. My whole approach is to give you absolute freedom, so you never feel
any revenge against me.
Osho
The
Razor’s Edge, #6
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